Love is only a Feeling
by Gorgoglo45
Summary: This is a songfic about LJ's & shows certain parts in their relationship in Hogwarts. It is in James POV, and there is ALOT of drama. It is also very luvy duby so if you don't like that kind of stuff don't read. The song is Love is Only A Feeling.[1shot]


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you reconize from the books. Nor do I own Love is Only a Feeling By: The Darkness**  
  
_The flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met_

_ And I knew that to you and into your life I had to get_

_ I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand _

_An assault my defences systematically failed to withstand  
_  
I knew it. I knew that Lily was the one. She had finally agreed to go out on a dinner-date with me and to say the least it went excellent. But I guess it all started when I saw her at the sorting. Ahh..... how I remember her beautiful eyes (which were glaring at me at the time because I made a git named Severus Snape's hair turn red and gold.) and her lovely smile......while I can go on and on rambling about my love I can't right now because she is coming my way .  
  
"Hello James how was your day?" Lily asked as she gave me a peck on the cheek.  
  
"Better now that your here." I replied smoothly. Yep that's me the smooth talker.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes but smiled anyways. See told you.... just call me Mr. Smooth.  
  
"Well aren't you the charmer." said Lily as she grabbed my hand.  
  
I got a tingling when she held my hand, and thats one of the many things I love about her. That she can still make me feel like that even though we have been holding hands, making out ,and doing all the things couples do for about 3 weeks and 4 days. I feel like a love sick fool, counting how long I've been dating Lily. But let me tell you something.......it feels so good that I can say .................  
  
"I am dating Lily Evans!!!" I yelled. Sorry I just couldn't contain myself.  
  
"James shut up!! People are starting to stare." Lily said while playfully punching my arm.  
  
I just grinned at her. I am the happiest man at school.  
  
_'Cos you came at a time _

_When the pursuit of one true love in which to fall _

_Was the be all and end all_  
  
It's been about three months now and its all going great..... well sort of. We had are first arugement. But the thing is that we had so many fights before we became an item that we knew what bonduries not to cross and what things to say to make us tick. But at the end we both decided we were being retarded and forgave each other. I feel like I am a bit whipped. I asked Sirius what he thought and even though he said I wasn't there was a look that he had that suggested otherwise. Am I vunerable? Do I act like a priss when I'm around Lily? I don't know; but I do feel.......scared. But I have Lily in my arms right now (she is sleeping.) and I am the happiest man in town.  
  
_The state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved_

_ I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed  
  
That the light of my life_

_ Would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by_

_ Just to beam on you and I_  
  
I can't believe it. Who would think that I James Potter, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, would be crying in his dorm, in the dark, alone. Alone. I am in that state and I hate it. What a stupid-ass brain dead, loser, scum of the earth I have been. To think that........ I don't even want to relive it. But I must cope.  
  
Flash Back  
  
"Hello Lily love." I whispered into Lily's ear as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She turned around hugged me and gave me a kiss.  
  
"Hey you." She replied smiling.  
  
"Are you coming to the quidditch game, I need my lucky charm there." I asked her as we started walking to the Great Hall for dinner.  
  
" You're so sweet. Of course I'm going to the game, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Can I borrow your DADA notes, I didn't get a chance to write them since I was helping Alice with her potions essay. You would think that her boyfriend would help her, but you know Frank he just HAD to get into a fight with Lucius." Lily chattered as she rolled her eyes during the last part of her rant.  
  
"Well the git shouldn't have been messing around with 3rd years." I retored frowning at the thought of that slimeball.  
  
"Yeah I guess your right." Lily sighed.  
  
We walked in silence the rest of the trip. I couldn't take it anymore I had to tell her.  
  
"Hey Lily?"  
  
"Yes James?" Lily replied looking up at me with curious eyes.  
  
"Do you mind if we walk around the lake for a bit, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
Lily raised an eyebrow at me but nodded anyways. We headed over to the grounds where the sun was setting. 'Perfect' I thought grinning. We sat down by the lake taking in the view for a bit then I turned to her. And she turned to me.  
  
"Lily..........." I started while looking into her eyes . Her wonderful eyes in which I become hypnotized by, in which I can become meismorized by; ahhh I can stare at them all day. Right now I am the happiest man in the country.  
  
**End of flashback (but there still is more)**  
  
James winced at the thought to come. "happiest man in the country." he scoffed and wiped away another (and last) tear. "Fat chance of that anymore. Not without.........not without...." James buried his head in his pillow just thinking but not crying, not anymore.  
  
_Love is only a feeling _

_(Drifting Away) _

_When I'm in your arms I start believing_

_ (It's here to stay)_

_ But love is only a feeling Anyway, anyway._  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"James what is it??" Lily asked looking a bit scared. But she had no idea that these feelings I have for her is scaring the shit out of me, and I mean like constipation type shit. The hard to get out feelings. _(Did you get the anlogy?? Did that ruin the romantic moment? Sorry.)_ But I had to tell her. I just had to!  
  
"Lily these past months have been so wonderful--"  
  
"I agree. It has been great being your girlfriend." Lily said and kissed me. Which I returned but to me honest she wasn't helping by interupting me like that. In fact it was making me more anxious "And you know that I have always liked you--"  
  
"Of course you were never discert about it either. You did shout it from the roof-tops, which was a bit embrassing but quite flattering." Lily intertupted again wrapping her arms around me for warmth.  
  
"Really? Well you didn't look flattered. You would always just rolled your eyes or yell at me, or both! But it didn't faze me. Nope it didn't"  
  
Lily snorted. "Thats such rubbish." Lily said as we both cuddled some more. "So what were you saying?" Lily asked as she grabbed my hand.  
  
"Well, I--"  
  
"Your hand is all sweaty."  
  
"Is it? Oh...ha ha , funny..... well--" James started once again while wipping his hand on his pants.  
  
"Are you nervous about something? Aww, is Jamie-poo nervous. Or just a little warm?" Lily teased. But then stopped when she saw the look on James face.  
  
"Alright, alright go ahead." said Lily  
  
"Right well, what I was going to say was--"  
  
"Hey are you hungry I'm starving. Good thing we know the way to the kitchen then we ca--"  
  
"I love you." I sputtered.  
  
Lily went white in the face. "Wha- what?" Lily asked as she scooted away from my grasped.  
  
"I said I love you. I love you so much its killing me just keeping it inside. You have everything I want, you have everything I need, you are my strength, you keep me happy, you are my everything and I love you Lily Evans. My Lily flower. I-love-you!!" I said holding both her hands, by that time I was on my knees looking down at her.  
  
A few seconds past, but they seemed like hours. Lily didn't say anything. She still looked ghostly white and just looked at me.  
  
"Lily?" I asked.  
  
"You can't love me." Lily spat.  
  
"What? Lily of course I do! I lo-"  
  
"NO, stop saying that. We've only been dating for about two months--"  
  
"Three months." I muttered feeling a little hurt that she didn't know how long we've been dating. By this time we were both standing.  
  
"Same differance. You can't know if you love someone with two months--"  
  
"THREE MONTHS! And yes I can. I do! I do love you (at this Lily winced)!" I urged on. 'why wasn't she getting it?'  
  
"Stop using the term so freely we are only 17! We are not even out of school yet!--"  
  
"Since when was there a rule that you have to be out of school to be in love? I love you with all my heart. Don't... don't you love me?" I asked deadly afraid of the answer. But I had to know. Lily turned her back.  
  
"Lily?" I asked her putting a hand on her shoulder. She muttered something which I couldn't hear.  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"I said no... I don't know--James I'm just so confused!" Lily replied with watery eyes.  
  
"You don't love me.--"  
  
"I didn't say that. I--"  
  
"NO! You made it perfectly clear. You don't love me and thats that. How could I've been so damn stupid!--" I retored. My voice was cracking but I wasn't going to cry in front of her. NO WAY.  
  
"James please... listen to me--"  
  
"I don't think I can be with you. Not when I know that you don't love me.-- "  
  
"NO JAMES PLEASE!!" Lily howled. She was balling her eyes out, and that just made me want to punch myself because I was the one to cause her to cry.  
  
I shook my head "Good bye Lily" I turned around walking away from the crying Lily.  
  
She fell to her knees and cried.  
  
**End of flashback.**  
  
I stared at the ceiling with dried tears on my face. I rolled over to look at a picture that was on my nightstand. It was of Lily and I. I was giving her a piggy-back ride, and she kept kissing my face. We looked.......happy. I smiled, I couldn't help it. I went to the bathroom to clean up then I went to the common room. I saw my friends laughing at some joke Sirius just said. I walked over to them and they immediatly stopped. Sirius patted me on the back. Remus gave me a smile (which I returned), Peter just looked umcomfortable with the sitiuation. "Alright Prongs?" Sirius asked looking at me with pitiful eyes.  
  
"No, but I will be." They all nodded. There was an awful silince which I couldn't take.  
  
"Hey, guys have you heard to one about the horse, the witch, and barman?" I asked putting on a smile. They all smiled and I began telling them my lame joke.  
  
_Love is only feeling _

_(Drifting Away)_

_ And we've got to stop ourselves believing _

_(It's here to stay) _

_'Cos love is only a feeling_  
  
We all sat on the couches when I heard the portarit door open. Lily walked through the door and abruptly stopped. We stared at each other for a long time. The guys kept quiet but occansionaly threw Lily a disgruntal look. Lily would look at me then at her shoes...me...shoes..me....shoes, you get the picture. I could see that her eyes were bloodshot. From crying I expect. Well I had my fair share of crying as well. Not that I would tell the guys though. Sirius coughed out loud.  
  
"So Prongs, how is that homework coming along?" Sirius asked loudly. Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"What homework?-- Oh that homework. Uh, I'm stuck on this one spell. Do you mind helping me?" I asked trying really hard not to look at Lily.  
  
"Sure. Lets go to the dorm. We can work in there. Come on you two." Sirius said to Peter and Remus.  
  
We quickly walked to the staircase, but not before I got a quick glance at Lily. Her lip quivered and she quickly put her hands to her face. Her friends ran over to Lily and put a comforting arm aroud her. I could see her shoulders going up and down from her hard crying. As much as it hurt me to see her like this, there was the tiniest part of me that was happy that Lily was in pain. But after I felt that satifaction, I wanted to slap myself. Which I did, may I add. I opened the door to my dorm when all of a sudden Remus and Peter sprayed me with silly string while Sirius tackled me to the floor. We all laughed. I wondered if this _feeling_ of _happiness_ will last at least. And if that feeling of _love_ from Lily will come back.  
  
_Anyway._  
  
THE END  
  
NOTE: I know you might be feeling like I wasn't true to the book, but I am sure they broke up at least once. What couple doesn't. And everyone knows what happens at the end, so one or two bumps on the road won't ruin their happy marriage which we grew to love. I hope you like the story as well as the song. I also think that I made James to be a bit...er.... shall I say emotional? I worked really hard on this. So if you don't like it please don't tell me. That will just sadden me. And what will that slove? Please review!


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